As of tomorrow I will have been without sweets in my diet
for exactly six months. Yes, I am a recovering addict. It freaks me out a
little though that I still experience cravings for sugary desserts. Lately, I
find my thoughts dwelling on certain things like the half-eaten cake sitting on
my kitchen counter or the left-over Halloween candy on top of the refrigerator.
Maybe craving is too strong of a term. A better way to put it is attraction. So
far I haven’t given in to delicious and appealing goodies, which are basically
death traps in disguise. But I do notice that they still have power to draw and
entice me.
I wonder if the attraction will ever completely go away. I
also wonder if the attraction will grow to become a craving once again. I
wonder if when it does I will be able to resist. I can absolutely see myself
back in a place where submission to a sugar craving has the power to ruin my
life and ultimately kill me. I hate admitting that this is an actual
possibility. I confess that this isn’t a faith-filled statement. But it’s an
honest perspective. And I think it’s healthy to admit that I could go down a
bad road if I allow myself to give in to an attraction for something that will
suck me in and rob me of my ability to make my own decisions.
The driving force for me is that I want to be used by God to
make a difference in this world. I really do. That means I need to be around as
long as he wants me to be. That means that I must be wise and live a
self-disciplined, self-controlled life. If I live like someone who really
doesn’t have God’s overcoming power, how can I tell others that they can have his
power in their lives? If I can’t overcome an addiction to something as simple
as junk food, how can I possibly help the one who is addicted to heroin or
alcohol or sex? No, all of those things come under the power of the Holy
Spirit’s work in peoples’ lives. I believe it and because I believe it, I have
to live it. Lord, I pray that you continue to work in me, giving me both the desire
and the power to do what pleases you (Philippians 2:13).
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